It's raining... yay!

No, I'm not actually happy about the rain per se, but I'm happy it's getting warmer and I can smell the spring in the air! (any other time I actually hate rain).

So I've been feeling quite happy lately. You know, the kind of quiet 'happy' feeling, when you're just smiling to yourself, and everything in your life is going okay... Like on Monday I've tried to "throw" a pot (a funny expression in ceramics world used for building a pot using the wheel... you know, like in the movie "Ghost"?). I've made two small bowls, and it was hard, but rewarding. I don't know why, but I felt so good afterwards. Like I've acomplished something important (it was my first time, mind you).

It must be spring.

Although getting up in the morning is a bit of a challenge since the time change on Sunday, but I've been doing great so far. I've made it to the gym on Monday and today, and I've walked everyday to work.

I've decided not to weigh myself anymore. It just sets of the cycle of "oh, I'm doing so good I can't screw it up now," and "oh crap, now I've scewed up!". I'm trying to just feel and look. And feel good about myself. It's hard; getting on the scale was so much easier. But I will not let it control my self-worth anymore. I keep telling myself - if I do some physical activity every day, my four days a week of weights, and eat as well as I can - it cannot get that bad!

I also find the support group (eating disorders) quite helpfull. I feel that my feelings towards food are valid, the love and hate relationship and such... I'm not the only one. I can talk about my weird ways without people judging me. I know that I don't have a full-blown e.d., but it's not a competition of who's sicker... lol I actually find the meetings to be quite similar to meetings at WW, only we talk much more in depth about our feelings towards food, coping strategies and really trying to understand why we eat the way we eat. I know "how" to eat healthy, but it's the will that's lacking sometimes. I need to understand why. Why does a seemingly rational and healthy eater continue to eat after they are full? Questions like this I need the answers to.

So all in all, I'm doing okay. :)