Sometimes you just don't care...

Well, I didn't go to weigh in on Wednesday. What was my reasoning?

1. I knew I didn't loose the damn five pounds that will get me to my goal weight, and therefore I would've paid.
2. I think the $14.60 (or so) is better spent on a yoga class, rather than a guilt trip at WI. (I did go to hot yoga on Tuesday, and it was awsome! I decided to get a package).
3. I thought that maybe if I didn't weigh in, I would stop my emotional eating associated with it (I don't know why, but the night before WI I always stuff my face! aghhh.... so annoying).
4. I only really have to weigh in once a moth, so it's not like I'm quitting. (Right... That's the best excuse! Even though I promised myself that I would weigh in every week. Why do I always talk myself into this one?!!! I should know by now to what this leads to...).

So, there you go. The above has resulted in me not even going to the gym on Thursday (I did go for a 30min run on Wed. though!), and at night I ate: 2pc of toast with salmon cream cheese, one peach, then the dinner (3 drumsticks, 1/2 cup of pasta and spaghetti squash), which wouldn't have been all that bad, but then I decided to have some Amaretto (just 'cause I have it!) and, I think, three chocolates. What is wrong with me? Why do I always always have to eat?

I eat at work 'cause sometimes I'm nervous, sometimes bored, then I get home, and I eat because I'm trying to delay going to the gym (and I'm starving). After I eat dinner, I eat because I want a treat... (that's what I'm guessing, but I really don't know).

Food has to stop being the centre of my attention at all times! But I can't help it, especially when I'm on ww! That's all I do - I eat, and then I think of how I can work it off!

I have no self-control when it comes to food!

okay... breath... *****aghhhh****

I know, blaming myself won't help, that just leads to just letting everything go.

I still have half of today left to make wise choices, and the weekend to be really really good. That's four days and a half until Wed.. I have to focus on one day at a time.

Here's my new plan, that I'm going to try in order to curb my sugar cravings. No sugar until Wednesday! After the three day hump apperantely it will get easier. I obviously can't treat myself in moderation, so I'll try and 'clean' my body off of sugar.

Starting.... NOW!!!!

Committing to lose... again??!!?

Alright, I have to take responsibility for my own weight loss. I know the rules, I have the means - I just have to do it, damn it!!! I will blog my progress and will be accountable here. Starting now.

Although I know better, it seems that a little treat here and there is okay, but it all adds up in the end. And this is the end.... result! I've been trying to loose the five pounds that I need to loose to get back to my official ww goal for a month now. But instead of loosing - I'm steadily gaining! WTF??!!!

I've committed to excercising every day (and I have been, for the most part), and I'm gaining! I do have to admit, though, to a couple of chocolate binges (including my B-day cake weekend...), but I didn't think it would influence me this much!

What's done is done, moving on. Here's the action plan - I'm re-joining the running room (10k clinic again, starting second week of October), and I'll be going to a yoga class once a week, and will do at least a couple of days a week of weight training.

I know the hard part - journaling. I do so well during the day, but as soon as I get home - I just eat whatever I want! Now, is that how it supposed to be done? No! But do I ever listen to myself? NO.

So, I will try really hard to work on that. I will post my journal here, and we'll see how far I'll get.

Oh, well, it doesn't help that I'm sick these days either. I got this cold, and I'm trying really hard not to get worse. And with a headache and a runny nose, I really don't feel like doing much or thinking much. Bleh.. I do feel good, however, about going to yoga yesterday (if only I didn't stop by for a vietnamese noodle soup beforehand! ... and there was a choc. bar too... thinsations, though!).

I thought I would feel better after all that sweating! And I secretly hoped to loose at least a pound! Nope. 146.

Anyhow, here's my food intake for the day, so far:

2p - 1% milk
3p - Kashi cereal
2p - graham cookies

1p - source yogourt
1p - sm. plum & sm. peach (they are really tiny!)
2p - thinsation choc. bar *sigh*

1p - one slice bread
1p - salad
3p - rice and lentils

------------> 16p