I'm back.

It's been a while since my last post. I got caught up in life... but I'm back!

Overall I'm doing okay. Since the weather got warmer, I'm feeling more energetic, optemistic, even. I've been walking to and from work for over two months now, and I love it. I use that time to think, or not... (lol, depends on the day), and I get a 6.6k walk.

I'm still struggling with the journal. I don't get it, why is it so hard? Well, I know why - at the end of the day I have to be accountable for what I eat... and that's the whole point. Traking the food that I eat during the day is not a problem, it's traking the food that I eat before/after dinner that gives me trouble, so I just avoid the journal like the plague.

But, with the nice weather, and my DH being back from his two week trip, my life is coming to order. I really need my routine to function well. I've started going to the gym in the morinings (and I walk, instead of taking the bus).

I don't want to think about it too much, but I am going on this trip in ten weeks. A trip that I've been waiting to go on for eleven years. Our family will go visit my father's parents in Latvia for a week, and then we'll go to Ukraine to visit the city in which I grew up.

To sum it up - I think it's going to be emotional trip. A trip to the past. I will get to see family and relatives that I had seen when I was very young, or had never seen in my life. We will go and visit my maternal grandfarther's grave (my grandma just died this last August, and she's buried here, so I know I'll be sad that they're not together in death). I will go back to see the house where we lived, where I went to school.

I came to Canada when I was fourteen, and I was homesick for quite a while, after the initial excitement wore off. And now I'm going back, but I'm such a different person. The biggest thing I fear is that I will be disappointed. I bet things have changed, the city has aged, the friends I knew had grown up. But I have to do it. I have to let go of the past, because in my mind it's all the same as I'd left it.

Oh, and of course, now I'm trying not to get stressed out and fall into the "I-have-to-loose-weight-now-I-have-ten-weeks" trap. Although some things never change... :)