Random thoughts

In my office, yesterday, we were talking about the holidays, and one of my co-workers said that she associated Christmas with "Charlie Brown" and whatnot. And I said - "Well, I have a total different set of associations!". This is a good example of the 'cultural differences' (althought that I hate the term) that are still part of me, even though I've lived in Canada a major part of my life. This makes me sad, in many different ways. Sometimes I want to be like everyone else, know all the movies that everyone has seen as a kid, know all of the books, actors - there are a thousand little nuances that indicate that I didn't grow up here. On the other hand, I'm sad that my/our children (hopefully I will have some), will not have the same experiences that I have - will not read the books that I've read, will not see my favourite cartoons, will not be immersed in the language. They will have a taste of it (already I'm starting to collect Russian kids books, and cartoons), and we speak Russian at home, but it's not the same. I'm afraid they'll resent me for forcing this on them, and I'm afraid they we will never understand each other (isn't it funny that I'm trying to solve future conflicts with my future children! LOL). This is so hard to explain to people that have lived in one country all their lives.

I'm also sad because my past is slowly fadding too - I'm having difficulty speaking and writting in Russian... I almost can't remember my home town (my sister can't remember it period). I don't want to let go of these things. They are a part of who I am. I so desperately try to hold on to things that connect back to Russia/Ukraine. This brings me back to the holidays.

The picture on the left is of a movie we ALWAYS watch(ed) at New Years eve (we didn't really celebrate Christamas, New Year was our major holiday). It's called "Ironiya sudby, ili S lyogkim parom! "Ирония Судьбы, Или С Лёгким Паром!" loosly translating to "Irony of Fate". Such a great movie! The plot of the movie is that this guy gets drunk before New Year's eve with his friends, they go the the airport to send of one the friends off, but because they are all drunk, they send this guy. He gets out of the airplane in a different city and tells the cab his address (the funny part is that there is a street with the same name as his, and the building looks like his - which was not an uncommon occurance in the Communist era). So he opens an appartment with his key and goes to sleep, the actual owner (a lady) comes home, and then a whole bunch of things happen and then they both realise that they are not in love with their own 'significant others', but that they are in loved with each other! And all of this happens on New Years eve. I won't tell you the end, in case you see it, but this movie is what I associate with the "holidays".

the end